We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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