Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
