How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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