goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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