I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
