3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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