i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
