It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
