I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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