I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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