your room smells of hookers.
And success
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
