dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Vodka?
Forever.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
