playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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