Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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