i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was like giving head to a cactus.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
