Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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