how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
high people should be assigned attendants
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
