yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
