At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
