Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
