i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
