R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
