There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
