hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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