I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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