We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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