We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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