We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
