Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
