So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
