Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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