She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
