the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
