this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
