Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
