I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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