With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Come see our sink grown plant.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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