You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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