You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
