it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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