You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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