You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
