If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
