I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
