Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
