I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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