so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
