At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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