3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
NoShamevember. You game?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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