yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
