so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
