maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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