So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
