the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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